The Meaning of Friendship and Aliyev’s Friendship

Whenever Azerbaijan comes up, the words “Friend and Brother” are thrown around. Aliyev is declared a “friend” and a “brother”. The familiar refrain that Azerbaijan and Türkiye are “Two states, one nation” is endlessly repeated. But how realistic is it? I did some research into “Friendship and Brotherhood” and came across many beautiful expressions in our literature. Now I will share them with you, and you will see that they have nothing whatsoever to do with Aliyev’s friendship.

Friendship and brotherhood are relationships founded solely on love, without any worldly gain at stake.  A true friend wipes away your tears without your even noticing. Someone who eases your troubles and solves your problems without letting you know. Someone who stays beside you when everyone else has abandoned you, who is with you on your darkest day. Someone who engraves your name on their heart when everyone else has written you off, and could not erase it even if they wanted to.

A true friend has these qualities: Seeing them reminds you of Allah. Their conduct turns you towards Allah. Their words increase your knowledge. They warn you when they see you being heedless.

A true friend is more than just a friend. We see these differences between a friend and a true friend: When a friend visits your home, they behave like a guest. When a true friend visits, they open the fridge and take what they want. A friend never sees you cry. A true friend’s shoulder is soaked with your tears.

A friend arrives at your gathering with a wrapped gift. A true friend comes early to help you and leaves late to help you tidy up. A friend is annoyed if you call after they have gone to bed. A true friend asks why you waited so long to tell them what was troubling you.

A friend thinks everything is over after an argument. A true friend calls again. A friend always wants you to stand behind them; a true friend always stands behind you. A friend learns your vulnerabilities and may exploit them. A true friend learns what you enjoy and caters to your tastes.

If a friend knows your weaknesses, they throw them in your face. If a true friend knows your weaknesses, they try to conceal them.

In other words, a true friend is mindful of the hadith: “Whoever conceals the faults of a Muslim brother, Allah will conceal their faults tomorrow on the Day of Resurrection.” (Ebu Davut, Edeb, 39);

“Do not hurt Muslims, shame them or search for their faults. If any of you seeks out and exposes the fault of a Muslim brother, Allah will expose their fault too. If Allah exposes a person’s fault, that person will be disgraced even in their own home.” (Tirmizi, Sünen, chapter, 84, Hadith No: 2101) A true friend is mindful of these hadiths.

The faults meant here are personal shortcomings that can be overlooked. Defying Allah’s commands is not a shortcoming; it is declaring war on Allah. Anyone who declares war on Allah must be put in their place.

A friend wants you to come second; a true friend feels honoured to take second place to you. A friend is beside you when you have no troubles. A true friend rushes to you when you are in trouble. You try to bring your friends peace. Your true friends try to bring you peace. A friend reads your message and deletes it. A true friend reads it and sends it to their friends.

A pact of brotherhood is a bond between two people, like the marriage bond between husband and wife. Just as loyalty and respect for marital rights are duties, so too is respecting the rights of brotherhood.

“When two brothers meet, they are like two hands, each washing the other. When two believers come together, surely Allah the Exalted grants each some good through the other.” (Deylemî narrated this from Enes b. Malik)

Indeed, the obligations of brotherhood include giving to a brother in need before he asks. İbn Şübrüme, one of the Successors, said: “When you ask your brother to meet a need and he will not exert himself to meet it, immediately perform ablution for prayer, offer the funeral prayer over that brother with four takbirs, and count him among the dead.”

There are many more beautiful sayings, but we will leave it here, as these make the point sufficiently clear. We look at all these principles and try to fit them to İlham Aliyev, who bans the hijab commanded by Allah in his country’s schools, but they simply will not fit. Knowing full well how much Türkiye suffered from headscarf-related persecution during the 28 February process, and knowing the struggle waged for its victims by the man he calls “my brother”, Tayyip Bey, he bans headscarves in his country’s schools while looking him straight in the eye. Is this what a “friend” and a “brother” does? Which of the principles of “friendship” and “brotherhood” mentioned above does this accord with?

Despite all this, we do not give up hope, and we hope that Aliyev, whom we have officially declared a friend and brother, may turn back from this mistake. In light of the verse, “If they disobey you, say: ‘I dissociate myself (not from you) but from what you do.’” (26/Şuara:216), we find hope in the words of Ebu’d Derda, who, when asked, “Will you still not hate your friend even though he has done such and such?”, replied, “I hate only what he does. If he gives up that evil deed, he is still my friend.” And in the words of İbrahim en-Nehâî, one of the jurists among the Successors: “Do not abandon your friend and break off your friendship because he has sinned. For he may sin today and give it up tomorrow.” These words give us hope. For:

God gives the poor abundant hope,

A drop of water holds life for a thousand seeds,

Whether you are awake or asleep,

To look from where we stand and see you as a true friend—

How lovely, Aliyev!

Musab Seyithan

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